One of the fun/terrible things about Whole30 is reading labels and discovering just how much unnecessary crap is lingering in what seems to be “safe” food. Mayo is one item I was told ‘should’ meet Whole30/Paleo criteria – afterall, isn’t it just egg yolk, oil, salt, and lemon juice?

No. No, it is not.

At least, not if you buy it off the shelf. Those that are shelf stable come with a whole host of other ingredients, many of which I cannot pronounce. Among these? Sugar. Or even more fun? High fructose corn syrup. Why? I don’t get it. It’s stupid. If you like sugar, go eat that weird Miracle Whip nonsense. Stay out of my tangy mayo.

Since I already had to abandon sour cream and greek yogurt until March, it didn’t take much to motivate me to hit the google machine and decide I could do this on my own.

The results? Unbelievable.

Why have I been buying this? I can say with certainty I never will again.*

*I’ll probably buy it again because I’m lazy. I undoubtedly will regret it the minute I do.

Ingredients:

• 4 Egg Yolks
• 4 tsp Fresh Lemon Juice
• 2 tsp White Wine Vinegar
• 1 tsp Salt (add more to taste)
• 2 1/4c Canola Oil

In a food processor or blender (I hear it works best in a  jar with an immersion blender if you’re blessed with such a gadget) place your egg yolks, lemon juice, vinegar, and salt.  Blend a few pulses until well incorporated.

SLOWLY, about a tablespoon at a time, add your oil, pulsing a few second for incorporation each time.  Watch closely as it shouldn’t take long before a thick emulsion forms.

Keep adding oil, a bit at a time (you can increase the amount between blends as the texture dictates) until you reach your desired consistency.

I like it nice and thick and creamy. 

It was.

A few notes.

OIL: Olive oil, or any shelf-liquid oil should work, but keep taste in mind. My first attempt with EVOO had a VERY strong taste. Not bad, but not classic either. I’ve heard avocado oil works awesome.

If it won’t thicken. Don’t cry or curse, you can save this. Dump your runny mixture into a jar, add two more egg yolks to the blender with a dash of lemon and salt, and start the emulsion process again, this time using your first attempt to incorporate like the oil. It works. And you don’t have to waste any product. 

Put this in your fridge and revel in your awesome DIY home chef brilliance. Add some chipotle paste. Make caesar dressing. I’m sorry, I’m getting bossy.

Enjoy!